We all want to be happy and feel assured of our own circumstance but too often the process of getting there is neglected. One of the most basic paths to self-fulfilment and happiness begins with something called self-acceptance.

Consider self-acceptance as the on-going process of experiencing reality as a fact, and check out these 6 scientifically-based suggestions for ways to improve the relationship you have with yourself.

6 Ways to Improve Self-Acceptance

1. “Accepting” reality does not equal “liking” reality

Take a moment such as standing in front of the mirror, for example. For many of us, our brain immediately begins focusing on all the parts of your body you wish you could change. Next time this happens, focus on accepting your body for what it is. Speak the affirmation out loud, take some deep breaths, and fully accept that the person in the mirror is you. This does not mean you can’t wish that you looked slightly different, or that you will magically master self-love in a day, but you’re not doing yourself any favours by rejecting the image of your own physical self. Understand that in order to change something you must stop denying its existence; self-esteem can only be built upon when you accept your reflection as, at the very least, an accurate one. This goes for all aspects of you.

2. Practice Gratitude

It can be hard to accept the things we struggle with, and often a re-framing of our shortcomings can be beneficial. It’s psychologically impossible to experience both anxiety and true gratitude simultaneously. Thank you failures, thank you fundamental issues and thank you future for letting me try again tomorrow. Being grateful for where you are will help you get where you’re going.

3. You are not your emotions

Work on separating yourself from your emotional reactions, and accepting them as they are. Try and observe your feelings as an event happening outside of yourself, and remove their ability to have power over you. By acknowledging, I’m feeling angry, and allowing our separate (calmer!) selves to figure out why we have these feelings we provide ourselves with the tools to increase self-efficacy. This doesn’t just work for anger, but for all emotions. And keep in mind that practice makes perfect!

4. Be “for” yourself

If we spoke to our friends the same way we sometimes speak to ourselves, we wouldn’t have any friends left! It’s important to remember that we should be first in line to offer support to ourselves when we need it. Give yourself that pep-talk, laugh at your own jokes and be one less person trying to put you down.

5. Let go of comparisons

Being different is what makes the world go round! Nothing positive or “accepting” ever came from comparison, and we are always our worst critics. Personal value is a zero-sum game, meaning that one person’s positive attributes do not detract from the value or attributes of any other person’s. There are much more productive ways to spend time than comparing, and the most significant part of self-acceptance is reflecting on behaviours or bad habits that are no longer serving you. Take notice of this and reject the rating systems.

6. Forgive and forgive again

Last but not least is to remember to forgive yourself. We are all only human, and it’s natural to have highs and lows of self-love. At the end of the day, don’t hold it against yourself if you make mistakes and fall off the acceptance wagon. Accept that failure is also okay, and be thankful for it; the best part of a practice is that you only get better with time. You already made it this far!